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coupleconnect for couples |
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Snuggle Your Way to Relationship Bliss” Welcome to the new FREE coupleconnect newsletter for those who want to enhance and enrich their relationships. The author, Debra Munn, is a writer on relationship issues and the creator of coupleconnect, a deck of 55 cards with questions to inspire better, more meaningful communication between partners. Visit http://www.coupleconnect.com In 1995, Debra, a native Texan, moved to the UK following the end of her 16-year marriage. In 1996 she met her partner, Mick Henry, and in 1999 they were married. The newsletter offers tips, support, encouragement, and things to think about as couples experience what can be life’s most rewarding adventure—their relationship with each other! Please contact Debra with your comments, questions, or suggestions at Debra@coupleconnect.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PLEASE LET ME HEAR FROM YOU! The aim of this newsletter is to help all of us have happier, more loving relationships. In addition to using my own articles, I will include pieces from guest columnists from time to time, and I also want to hear from YOU, the readers, so we can all get to know each other better. Is there a special subject you’d like to discuss? A special point of view you’d like to express? What about a pet peeve or concern you’d like to air on the subject of relationships? Please share it with all of us at Debra@coupleconnect.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you enjoy this coupleconnect newsletter, I would be delighted for you to copy and send it on to all your friends, family members, and colleagues who are interested in enhancing their relationships—that’s the way we grow and expand. Just make sure to make no changes, additions, or deletions, including the contact information. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SNUGGLE YOUR WAY TO RELATIONSHIP BLISS
For many of us in the northern hemisphere, these winter months we’re now experiencing are a time of drawing in, of staying inside as much as possible, and in revelling in the creature comforts of home. I sometimes think that we humans share more with other mammals than we realize, for who hasn’t felt the urge just to snuggle down and hibernate when the temperature falls and the nights are so long? And how much cozier and more rewarding that snuggling is when done with a partner. I’m not talking here about having sex, as pleasurable as that is, but about another, equally basic animal instinct which gets far less mention but has probably contributed just as much to the survival of the human race. The instinct for animal or human bodies to huddle together surely originates in infancy, when a child clings to its mother for warmth and nourishment. Or perhaps its beginnings are even earlier than that—perhaps we learn to relish being held so close while we are still in the safety and snugness of our mother’s womb. But wherever the instinct comes from, we never outgrow it. Yet once we’ve left childhood behind, with whom are we allowed to express this need to cuddle? Only perhaps with our pets, our children when they’re young, and our partners. Yet some couples barely touch each other, except perhaps for sex, or for obligatory hugs and kisses, usually reserved for quick hellos and goodbyes. How sad for them that they’re missing out on one of life’s most sublime pleasures. For in the loving, nourishing embrace of our partners, we come to feel totally accepted for the unique and lovable human beings we are. It’s impossible to hide feelings of love while cuddling, and it provides opportunities for a couple to get to know each other at the most basic, honest level. No words are needed, just touch and warmth. Cuddling breaks down all pretense, all barriers, and it helps two people to feel more secure and in tune with each other at a gut level. Perhaps because snuggling brings out the child in us, it also stimulates playfulness and joy, and brings us a much needed respite from the “adult” world. As we allow ourselves to become playful small animals with one another, we gain a wider perspective that helps keep us honest and in touch with our deepest feelings. Snuggling keeps us in touch with who we really are, not with who other people think we should be. I’ve never seen any kind of survey about this, but my gut instinct tells me that the happiest couples are those who snuggle a lot. For one thing, it’s difficult to harbor bad feelings for someone while you’re entwined so closely that you can barely tell where one of you ends and the other begins. If you want to feel automatically closer to your partner (emotionally as well as physically), take advantage of these long winter nights to get in more snuggling time. And then don’t be surprised if your relationship begins to improve in all kinds of ways.
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Debra Munn |
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Copyright 2005 coupleconnect
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